Newtown, CT

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 The events of Friday, December 14, 2012 has left an impact on all of us whether we realize it or not.  As a teacher I find myself thinking of what I would do in this situation.  I can honestly say that I don't know.  Each school whether it be a pre-school or a college has various situational protocols that they are supposed to follow.  My school is no different.  To think that a school has to have a plan of emergency in case of a shooter is mind boggling.  But realisitcally, if it were to happen when I'm around all protocol would probably be thrown out the window.  Each situation is different.  You can plan and plan and plan, but until you are put in that situation you will not know how your reaction will be.  I teach adults but my love for my students is just as strong as the love that a kindergarten teacher has for his or her students.  I know my students.  I know their husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends.  I know about their troubled pasts.  I know about their kids and their grandkids.  I know that they are all here to try and make themselves a better future.  We have emergency drills at the school and we joke about them, but the truth is that these drills could in fact become very, very real.  That scares me.

Today I go back to work. I go back to my normal day.  I go back to doing the same things I did last week before Friday happened.   I worry about problems that seem significant to me, and yet in the grand scheme of things my problems seem mundane to those who just lost a child.   The worst part is that it could happen again.  We've seen shootings at middle schools, high schools, colleges, and now elementary schools.  It will happen again.  There is nothing that I can do to change that.  I'm helpless, powerless.  The fact that this will happen again is difficult to accept. What do we do as a society to not feel helpless and powerless?  How can we make school a safe place to go? I'm not sure if there is a right answer to those questions.  Each of us has our own ideas or opinions, but that doesn't necessarily make them right or wrong.  My heart grieves for the families and friends of those who were taken too early last Friday.  May the friends and families of the victims find peace someday with the tragedy that took away their loved ones.

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